Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
