Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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