is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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