You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
