I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
