im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize