can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
