Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
