we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
