Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
