You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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