Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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