I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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