also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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