Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
