this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
