Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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