Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize