you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
