That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
