so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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