After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
