chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
