My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
