I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
