If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
