so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
