Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
