He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
