I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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