What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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