but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
