My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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