I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
