in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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