my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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