I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
