u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
