I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
