I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
