got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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