oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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