whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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