All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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