Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
