I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
