4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
