whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize