My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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