I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
