Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
