That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
