her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
