bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
