Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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