dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
