She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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